- Commission info - Character list - Status list - Photo account - 

- Journal -
Edit: I was at a drop in health center yesterday for both my thumb and my problems with breathing (witch may be related to the absurd amount of pollen right now). In the end, yes, my thumb was infected, so I got some Antibiotic and I also got Cortisone since my breath sounded raspy. I also got to inhale Ventoline (5 mg) for 4 mintues, so I was very, very shaky but I can breath again somewhat normal. So now I have an absurd amount of medicine I eat on daily basis (Pills: sleeping, anti-derpresant, D3,B12, Antibiotic, Cortisone. Two Nose sprays (one regular, one anti-histamine) I think that is all... XD )  

No, really, I never have a clue of what to write.

Life is kinda good right now, besides the fact that I'm sick and my thumb is swollen up to double size. I can't use it for now (I honestly have no clue why, it just is o.o ). I feel like things is happening. My mind is full of thoughts right now, so this will be much text.

I mean, first of, I meet my grandmother (on my fathers side... oh why don't English separate the terms!) for the first time ever. That was... unique... I mean, she was so much like my father in the face... the same blue gentle eyes... she is dying, and no one knows how much she has left, so I'm glad that I have met her... There is still so much I want to ask, but I'm not sure I'm supposed to poke around in the past of my father...
She even gave me some amazing jewelry, she thought I would be interested and damn I was. The design were Finish, from a company named "Kalevala"
They are amazing, I will post some photo's later...

And, the most odd part, is that I (kinda) have a boyfriend now... I know that some people will throw some coconuts at me for my choosing, but I'm aware of his past. I'm aware of most of his flaws...  It does not matter if he lies, what matters is the feeling when we see each other. I like him for who he is, not for what he have done.

Me and Ophelia is getting along better now since we are not a couple anymore. I will miss the times we had, but, not all is lost. We have to build new ways to connect and enjoy each others company. I have given it a lot of thought, and realized much... I will be there, no matter the gender...
Speaking of, we tried to meditate together with shamanic drum beat. It was... A little bit scary at one point, but it was one interesting experience...

I have recently picked up an interest in pagan/shamanic ideals and experiences. I may not preform rituals or celebrate certain events, but I feel like that's the way I want it to be. I think a lot about myself and nature, how things connect. I feel like my room is more and more of a safe haven of nature, with all of my skulls, bones and tried up wood and plants.

I also think about how it was when I was in Upper level of compulsory school. I was considered "smart" since I read a lot of complicated books, fantasy and cultural books. I almost "lived" at the liberty and could find most books by just looking at the tag (hcg, uHce ect). I was quiet with much knowledge...

Now, I'm not to considered to be the smartest, and I can't shut up for most part. I still read a lot but not as much as in the school days. I'm famous for being a happy, non-nonsensical  and distracted. I'm not speaking in correct ways and is mostly a dork. (But I can be serious, really dead serious if needed). I listen and help my friends, since the few I still have contact with is often in high need of advice since their inability to understand some things (people with Aspberger's and autism).

In my work-life, I'm completely different...
I am neither a child nor an adult in my own eyes, I'm somewhere in-between, confused of what I'm supposed to do... I'm a piece of shit in the eyes of the "work-life" since I don't have a fancy University exam, and my grades are... bland...  I'm always lack in education, no matter how many pages my cv covers. I have lot's of smaller educations. My three scout-leader exams, my "Heart-lung saving with defibrillator" , my fire-protection education...
I also have lots of craft educations...
And yet, I can't get a job...

On other side notes, I have once again resumed to be at out leisure house... I feels really good, I have missed much of being out there, doing garden work and such... And even my grandmother (on my mom's side) was nice when she visited. That was... more surreal then anything... It finally feels like I can be around her without being terrified of it ending up in a quarrel (not that it matters to me, but to mom and grandmother)

I think that's most of what's going on in my head. Even if the last part sounded somewhat depressing, I'm not that depressed for the moment...  I'm a little nervous about the hike next week (I'm just saying one thing: I'm gonna play Luna Lovegood!), and the medivial days is next weekend, that's gonna be fun! (I miss the first day because of the hike )
So, with this said, now I'm gonna stop writing, I'm finally hungry so I'm gonna make lunch now

I hope all you out there have a good day!

- Creative thingies-
- Earrings in brass (Stuck)
- Dark and light wolf knives (began)
- Birch spoon (Soon done -_- )

- Computer issues -
If someone knows a solution to any of the problems, please say so
Systems: 

Windows 7, 64x version. No service packs.
- Heroes 3. The program stops and requires force shut down.

- Random Quote -
"We stole countries, that's how you build empires. We stole contries with the cunning use of flags" Eddie Izzard, from the show Dressed to kill [link]